unlike candles

glimmering
i walk down the sidewalk
avoiding stepping onto the grass
till i reach the point
where i can break you
but not to hurt you
to search through the pieces
and find the mediation for
my symphony of perfection
to heal what i hate
the seething i cant control

shivering
i cover my face from the sun
as it strobes through the branches
i now know I'm not invincible
this meditation of sickness
crawling up my neck
wading through my arms
densely woven materials
that can never find the words
that I need most
but what is necessity

theres safety in silence

and it cuts and cuts
while my hands tremble
from the pale faced effort
while my hands look for the truth
that terrifies my existence
while my hands long to search
your body for its soul
so i that may speak the words
that  i do not even know
but   i will   then
or     will i   ever
and  i still   dream.
and  still i   burn.

unlike candles.